Corporate Golfer

© RW Baker

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Golfer sued after not shouting "fore"

The corporate golfer read with interest about a certain Edigio "Gino" Berni, who while shoo'ing the breeze at Gleneagles Country Club (Illinois) was hit on the noggin by a little white ball. On an autumn day this year (2006) Gino was standing on the fairway of the 5th hole when he was hit on the left temple. In a lawsuit Gino claims that the rude duffer who hit the ball was none other than Michael B Goldberg, one of Chicago's most prominent (and now even more prominent) personal-injury lawyers (it seems Mr Goldberg has mastered the art of personal-injury).

No shout of "fore"

To put insult to injury, the blow was not proceded by the traditional yell of "fore". The lawsuit claims the ball bore the name of the attorney's law firm, "Goldberg, Weisman and Cairo" (corporate golfer can fully understand the value of a golf ball with lawyers names on it - no doubt beating the hell out of that little ball can be quite pleasureable to those who have faced off with Messrs Goldberg, Weisman and Cairo).

It wasn't me

However, Goldberg claims the wayward ball was not hit by him. "I didn't do it. How is he going to prove I did it?" asked Goldberg (corporate golfer's note - without mentioning what "it" is). "There's golf balls flying everywhere." (A statement which Mr Alexander Simonis would no doubt agree with).

Gino saw the shot!

Incredulously, it was reported that Gino could see Goldberg hitting the shot (now the corporate golfer is a hacker himself, but should he sees a ball coming his way he normally takes evasive action).

A few cocktails later...

Anecdotal evidence has it that Gino completed the round, ate dinner and had some cocktails (ahhh, natural medication). Goldberg said Gino told him in the clubhouse later that he was feeling fine (nothing like a few cocktails to improve one's mood). Gino later developed headaches and blurred vision, and was diagnosed with a concussion after seeking treatment at a Downers Grove hospital the following day.

Goldberg ignores request to settle

Gino requested Mr Goldberg to settle the dispute, but received no response (Mr Golderberg exercising his right to remain silent).

Goldberg wont disclose his handicap

Goldberg laughed when asked what his handicap was, saying only that he was a "decent player" (yeah, me too....compared to blind golfers).

The last boy-scout came prepared

Goldberg said he doesn’t plan to defend himself in this case - “That’s what homeowner’s insurance is for”.